Friday, February 17, 2012

The Engagement Ring

There was an interesting column by “Miss Manners” the other day about a woman and her engagement ring dilemma. She was concerned that when her boyfriend popped the question she might not like the engagement ring. She was afraid that the ring would not fit her taste or style and then she would be stuck with this ring for life. First off I want to say that no woman is ever stuck with a particular ring. I have my engagement ring, which is so small I can’t wear it and I have the upgraded ring that I wear every day. I have to admit that I love them both. “Miss Manners” suggestion to the concerned lady…”a gentleman never purchases a ring for a hand unless he is sure he has secured the hand.”

Back in the day, proposals were not always accompanied by a ring. A lady was asked by the gentleman if she would consent to marrying him. The ring came at a later date, if it was a family heirloom it would be sized if necessary, otherwise a new ring was purchased. Today’s modern proposals are all pomp and circumstance and there is a lot of pressure placed on the future groom to have a memorable proposal. When I was proposed to it was not accompanied by a ring. We discussed the possibility of marriage and whether I was amendable to this arrangement. We agreed and then went shopping for a ring. There was no hot air balloon ride, romantic dinner on the beach or ring hidden in a dessert or glass of champagne, and truthfully it wasn’t any less thrilling.

The whole idea behind getting engaged is to make a commitment to share your life with another person. It is not about romantic proposals, elaborate engagements or whether a shocked expression and the antics of a future husband will get a lot of “likes” on Facebook. While this type of proposal is entertaining, it’s not necessarily real life. Not to mention an engagement ring can be a substantial purchase and the wise couple will make their selection together. Like any important purchase, there are things to consider. Budget, style and upgrade possibilities should be discussed and any diamond ring that is purchased should be thoughtfully considered and compared. While this may not be very romantic, it shows maturity, and you’ll need to be very mature if you want your marriage to stand the test of time.

For all those women out there who still want a grand proposal complete with champagne and maybe a biplane towing a banner, may I suggest a stand-in prop ring. This is a ring with a plain setting, cubic zirconia to symbolize the diamond and a pretty box. It maybe returnable to the jeweler, or worn as a cocktail ring later. If you are able to return the ring, the return can be use towards another ring, you can then go shopping for the real ring together. After all, the bride should be thrilled with her choice in men, not simply the ring and if she does get an elaborate proposal she should be happy with all the trouble and planning that went into such an event and cut her guy a little slack when it comes to the ring. Last I checked you were making a commitment to another person, not a ring.

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